If you struggle with low self-confidence, low self-esteem or low self-worth and want to become more confident, this one is for you.

Self-confidence starts with self-trust.

In fact, there is no self-confidence without self-trust.

Self-confidence without self-trust is vanity & big-headedness - what many call an inflated ego.

This is a false confidence - a fragile facade it doesn’t take much to crack. A mere disapproving glance will do.

Self-confidence without self-trust is sustained by external approval & withers away without it.

****There is nothing wrong with needing approval - we are a social species that thrives on connection with others. So, external approval will always feel good.

But if external validation & approval are our only source of self-confidence, we will never have enough. We will be filling a cup with a hole at the bottom.

We can’t control other people’s thoughts, desires & feelings, so we always feel a bit uncertain, a bit on edge & a bit insecure.

True self-confidence comes from within. But contrary to popular belief, it does not appear when we attain our idea of perfect.

It is slowly built over time when we earn our own trust.

After all, to have CONFIDENCE in someone literally means to have TRUST in them.

So, what does it mean to trust ourselves & how can we begin to earn our own trust?

We trust others when:

🧡 Their words consistently align with their actions

🧡 They consistently act in our best interest

🧡 They know us well enough to know what our best interests actually are

****Acting in our best interest doesn’t mean enabling us - nor does it mean pleasing, appeasing or giving in to our caprices or tantrums. It also doesn’t mean micromanaging or over-protecting us. This actually leads to a lack of trust over time.

How to build self-trust:

Remember, your relationship with yourself is a relationship like any other. So, the process of creating trust towards yourself is no different than creating trust with another person:

🧡Learn what your best interests actually are

🧡Take them into account when you make decisions & set goals for yourself

🧡Actually follow through on the things you say you will do

Every time you tell yourself you will do something and then flake out, you betray your trust.

Every time you follow through on your words - no matter how small - you begin to earn your own trust.

And that, over time, increases your self-confidence.

It’s not as sexy as fantasizing about an unattainable ideal & takes more boring, consistent work. But it is totally attainable and so worth it in the long run.

In the next few emails, I will be going deep into what you can actually do to start creating self-trust.

Spoiler: it's so much simpler than you think.

So, I hope you will join me for this wild ride and stay tuned!

Take care,
Noemi
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